im done with all the nice talks and the motivational posts, they are not okay for today.
Just finished university forever yesterday- happy days! Went out last night and woke up this morning with crohns pains live and kicking ; and for anybody reading who thinks I’m overreacting with a hangover you have quite clearly never experienced the discomfort and quite specific painful feeling to which I am now referring. I don’t know if this is linked to starting Humira, or if it is because of the stress of exams or what- all I do know is it is shit and so freaking unfair.
My best friends birthday is tomorrow and our mutual French friend is over visiting so I made a massive effort to come home early to see her but felt so nauseous, shaky and fatigued that I didn’t even make the whole walk into town and have spent the afternoon alone and crying, in the bathroom and snuggled up and generally feeling more than a little sorry for myself. How am I meant to do the next two birthday nights? I got tired just walking upstairs to get a pillow.
Life feels so so so unfair right now and I’m not okay with this. I have too much on and I can’t cope with it all. I can’t. It’s not fair. I want someone to help me. Do this with me. Apparently any writing ability I may once have possessed left me in my anger because this post is just a repetitive scrambled up mess – but then maybe that pretty accurately represents my life.
Could do with some serious hugs and TLC right now
H x
livingmylifewithcrohns 