I know I have been uber rubbish about blogging recently – mainly for the simple reason of lack of time and motivation. I am feeling super crap about myself at the moment, the way I look, my insecurities, my total inability to do something which at all seems productive.
I had a big project due on Saturday, which involved helping to plan a festival (of LEARNING before anyone gets any funny ideas about my course 😉 ) and despite the stress that actually really helped to keep me focussed and motivated, and something to do everyday, with people to see. Now, not so much. Plus, I recently found a hard lump, which the doctor said was the start of an abcess, and that proceeded to pop on Saturday night- which was just massively embarassing and inconvenient seeing as I was at my boyfriends, and had no idea what was going on. It ended in a situation I never want repeated, with him having to help me clean up, not something I am proud of , and in that moment I really felt the crushing huge-ness of this disease, and everything that comes with it. Whatever, turns out he is stronger and better than I am (which i already knew, obviously!) and took it all in his stride, and I guess onwards and upwards!
Just a post to say, I am still here I guess- and I rpomise to get better at writing, and keeping you up to date. Currently, I am trying to write a dissertation which is just not coming together, trying to find a job in a market with none, and balance general feelings of invisibility and usefulness, and my personal insecurities. So, all the fun is being had over here.
Chin up, stay strong, we can get through these times (y)