No title, no words, just a face!
I want to give you guys an update after my relatively dramatic last post- but didn’t know what to say, or how to say it. So, Imma bullet point everything going on, rather than trying (and failing) to write a coherent post!
-I’m so freaking tired its unreal. How can I do so little, and be tired so often?
-I’m excited but nervous to see my new consultant next Wednesday – should be interesting! I forget how nerve racking it can be to see the new guy- especially because I think crohns is grumbling again. I need the loo more, I get tired more, I have tummy aches more – no good signs!
-I am doing pretty well at uni so far, which is nice 🙂 I have been getting good grades though hit a bit of a block in terms of knowing what to do for my next essays and dissertation which is scary! I have spoken to my friend about moving out with her in around August, which should be fun – although it adds stress and pressure with finances to get a good enough job to support that while also getting my dissertation done!
-having a bit of a confusing time with my mum- who’s taken the car back in protest of “bad behaviour” and arguing (as ridiculous as that sounds) but has had it for months, for no good reason. It’s causing tension and anger – which is ironic because apart fro that we are getting on better than ever! I don’t understand how she can be so nice and kind for some things ,but so cruel for others. For example, as you may know from my last post – dad and my step mum are seperating and she wouldn’t even let us use he car to help them move furniture, or to drive to go visit my own siblings. Which I just don’t understands, and then she’s so supportive in other Ways?!
-my injections never got delivered! Just to add to the fun I’m now behind on humira too. Yay.
-my boyfriend is incredible. I love him so much, and that’s so cliche and embarassing but it’s true. He supports me and loves me through the madness that is my life, whilst somehow inspiring me to be a better and kinder person at the same time – how can one person be so incredible?! Although him being out and so successful and working and moving out does just highlight how crap I am doing at life at the moment – so that’s tricky. I’m ill, hormonal, insecure and a little crazy; and all of that makes it tricky. We keep arguing too, due to over stubbornness – but I still wouldn’t trade him for anything. He’s is my absolute rock, and I have to say all this mushy crap here because there’s no where else I can say it without annoying people 😉 at least here you guys can escape!
-and finally, the seperation. Tonight is the first night the kids and my step mum will be in their new house, although dad wanted to be alone so I am at mum house anyway, but it still feels weird – especially with so mc stuff missing around dads house. I’m so sad it’s happening, I want my family to stay together not fall apart further! We went to center parcs this weekend with dad to give my step mum time to move out, and we had a really sweet weekend despite the emotional side of it all. It did unfortunately combine with period weekend- resulting I me crying over a cupcake! But that’s another story 😉
I’m feeling a little dented and battered in, but I’m soldiering on 🙂
Keep your head highs up