This has been my view for pretty much the last two weeks, well, since I have been back at uni really. It’s January, that means exam time – and although I have none (clever module picking) I still seem bogged under with work! I had an assignment due at the start of this week, and also a presentation on my dissertation (scary times) but both went well, I think!
I was so proud of myself doing well in My dissertation presentation and getting good comments on my presentating skills – mainly because I have never been confident standing ip and talking infront of people, but I did it all alone and I did fab, and quite frankly that feels so good; and if your not allowed a bit of self congratulation after completing a tricky task, then when are you?!
Enough of that nonsense now though! I was talking to my friend at lunch and I realised That this time last year was roughly when I came Back to uni, I was still off recovering from my operatipn, and that feels so so surreal. I don’t want to descend into a “compare my life to last year” shindig, (yes, that counts as a real word) simply Because I have been doing it so much in my last post, although I reckon I have enough to write a book! Aside from all of that there is also the ever present “JOB” stress, ot has to ve in all capitals since its so ever present and all consuming… In summary I haven’t got one lined up and the big clock of university is slowly ticking down and I am, quite simply, not ready yet for it to strike 12 and my proverbial carriage of university turn into the pumpkin ride of real life, jobs, and mortgages. Stress indeed!
Something else was on my mind recently, about this blog and all of you guys actually. Nobody in my life knows I write this, it’s always been a personal and private outlet where I can vent and cry and yell and nobody can judge or treat me differently for it. I think I like it that way, but sometimes I wonder if I still so activrlt need to hide it; now I am out the darkness of crohns and back in the light of normality, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
Deep thought sprout from too much time at a desk, apologies!
Happy New Year all!
I know…so late…my bad with the lack of blog posts – I have been so busy since Christmas Eve that I really haven’t had time to be posting, and now I am back at university and truly thrust into the middle of it all with a crazy amount of deadlines and work to be getting on with, not to forget the minor stress of having to make some pretty huge life decisions in the next few weeks/ months with regards to what I am going to be doing after graduation. gulp.
So since I last posted I have been busy busy busy, mainly seeing family and just enjoying the festive period. Its been so lovely to visit everyone at Christmas time, and play all the crazy traditional games and laugh and be happy and just appreciate how much I have in my life, compared to where I was last year. My New Years was lovely; I went with my boyfriend into London and spent some time together, and went for dinner, then went to meet his brother in a club for midnight; then he spent the next few days at mine spending time with my family, I couldn’t have asked for anything better!
Last year I spent a quite new years in with my auntie – which was exactly what I needed and I actually had such a sweet evening and was just so grateful to be out of hospital! But it just was another point of reflection, you realy don’t appreciate what you have until you nearly lose it all. (okay, maybe a little dramatic, but you get th epoint 😉 )
I am really appreciating my lack of chroness-ness right now, the levels of stress I am going under (and the attempt at dieting) would just have not been possible to cope with a year and a half ago when I was at my worst, and I just realise how much my life has changed – and I know that is pretty much all I have said every other sentence but I think that’s because sometimes I don’t just stop and think about life until I am sat here writing these posts; and I cant think of anything more important than realising how lucky I am with what I have, and who is in my life – and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Sorry for slow flow of blogging- and my pretty dull posts, but I would much rather be waffling on about my life than filling you in with the gruesome details of my last treatment or last crying session. So, thank you for sticking with me through all of that – here is to onwards and upwards and to happier times 🙂