Let’s smash this 👌🏼


okay so sometime you gotta fake it till you make it. I may not be sure of myself and of my future, but If I’m not positive about it, then it definitely won’t happen! 

I am gonna ACE the last few weeks at my job, making some extra money and helping them out.

I may be the heaviest I have been, but I am going to LOVE the way I look because it is a result of everything I have been through and I am going to PERSEVERE (had to google how to spell that!) with trying to lose weight, one day it WILL happen

I am going to ENJOY my new masters and make new friends and continue to be a happy, friendly person

I will NERD UP , study hard and SUCCEED at my masters. It is something I love and something o know I can do well at.

I will get ORGANISED and make sure I get on with my volunteering, being a HELPER-FAIRY- ARCHAEOLOGY-MUSEUM-WOMAN getting involved in as many projects as I can to boost my CV, my confidence and experience, and who knows, someone may even pay me for it!

I will CALM DOWN about my finances, obviously money is a concern but I can get through this and I have committed so I may as well push for the best outcome

I can be happy for the change in others lives and their ACHIEVEMENTS without feeling like I pale in comparison. Everyone is different else life would be boring. 

I will SQUASH my crohns insecurities and take on anything it throws at me. Again. Hah. 
I can do all this, and more. I need to focus on the amazing potential this year has and not all the scary parts. It is hard to keep on track and everything but I need to keep trying. Let’s do this. 

H x

Pot Luck


This illness of mine, its a fickle beast.

Sometimes it strikes hard and fast, a crippling blow to the body and soul; and in others it just kind of drifts around the peripherals of your life, always there but not always being felt. I am one of the lucky ones right now, I am in remission and loving it. But I see and hear of so many people who have it so much worse, whose bodies are still being ravaged by the disease and who are unable to continue to live their daily lives. I guess I was lucky that my Crohns got so bad so quickly, it was within a year of diagnosis that I had to have an operation. From going to just having really loud tummy rumbles to being unable to walk and being half carried into an ambulance due to pain – that’s drastic. My life changed and switched upside down, nothing was the same – but it did happen so fast that drastic action was taken and quickly, my operation that changed everything happened so fast. I am grateful that it got so bad so fast, that it was sorted so quickly. And quite a bit f that may have been to do with the fact I was on private healthcare due to my dads work – but regardless I would have been put in for an operation after my A and E visit.

I guess this post is a rambler, sorry – it just struck me again the other da how much stuff has changed for me in this past year, and how a year ago I would never have seen myself here, ever. Aside from that, I guess I am one of the lucky ones. Its important to remember that sometimes I think

H xx