Feeling hot, hot, hot!


Hello,

I don’t have anything particular to say, so I guess this will be a short post! I just wanted to record how the past few days have been…essentially…very hot!

We have been spending a lot of time in the garden, sitting in the sun, working on doing up the garage we have here, planting things in our garden and relaxing! Some days it feels like paradise, a little summer holiday of our own, and other days it feels like an overheated cage – there isn’t much inbetween! I have been spending mornings working on my CV, applying for roles, and frantically looking at other careers to see what I could do to generate some income. I think I may look at being a teachers assistant- could do this part time, gain some experience and the timings would work with it being from September onwards. The whole process is scary, and overwhelming, and I am not really sure which direction to turn! I keep holding out hope for other heritage roles, but honestly, it seems less and less likely.

In terms of health, thankfully everyone is still doing okay. I think my housemate and I may travel home this Saturday to see our families (her school has postponed opening 3 weeks, yippee!) , and I honestly cannot wait. It is the longest I haven’t seen my little siblings since they were born, and I miss them – and my dog! We still can’t go in the houses, share any cutlery/ plates etc, so it will just be a case of taking my own picnic and sitting in the garden, but it will be SO nice to see them. It is weird seeing people (have only seen people once during this whole lockdown aside from virtually) – it is so hard to resist hugging them, touching them, passing things between you. It is obviously vital, but it is so hard.

In terms of the wider world- it seems as though the UK is slowly starting to ease up lockdown (which seems insane to me). Aside from the USA we are still doing one of the worst in the world, and it honestly doesn’t surprise me given how it has been handled. The poor NHS is under so much strain, people are out in their hordes on the beaches and then other people are having to watch their children die alone in hospital because they aren’t allowed to be with them. It is disgusting, and crazy to me. There are rumours we are going to be hit with a second wave, and I don’t see how we won’t be. It breaks my heart to think of the people scared and alone during this time, and the mental impact this is having on every single person who is following the rules.

There are wider societal issues in play at the moment too ,relating to race. The murder of George Floyd happened recently, and America is in uproar over it (rightly so!). There are also protests happening here in London, and it is causing a lot of friction trying to weigh up the need to protest vs the need to keep our vulnerable people safe from the virus. It is often confusing, and there is no clear answer about what is best to do. I am currently spending time compiling reading lists, looking into places to donate, and trying to work out how I can begin to challenge the system in my own life, and what difference I can make. I am at the very start of a long journey, but one that we should all be undertaking.

It is a weird world at the moment. Heavy, scary and angry. But the Earth is also breathing, recovering – water is clearing, ecosystems are recovering and more. I want to go back to normal as much as everyone else, but was the old normal really that great? I will be intrigued to see what changes come from this, and hope that they help us walk towards a better future. These times are rough, despite the happy moments that pepper them (we saw the SpaceX launch live, and then watched the shuttle fly across the stars later that evening…I am spending quality times with my friends…I am reading more…I am reflecting more) but having said this, I look forward to the changes.

 

H x

Easing the lockdown (worryingly!)


Hello!

10 day gap between posts…oops! I mean, compared to the literal months I have gone before that isn’t too bad, but I have been really pleased with being able to document this experience recently,  so I hope that isn’t a sign of slipping into bad habits!

As of Monday (in 3 days time) our lockdown in the country is easing again, and there will now be groups of 6 allowed to meet – socially distant- in outside spaces. They also will be starting schools back from next week, which honestly, seems insane. I am really disappointed (but not surprised) with how it has been handled, and is making me very anxious about the implications. The country in no way is ready for a relaxing of the rules-  the virus is still ravaging the country, and it seems that the politicians are simply happy to sacrifice a certain amount of the population to push forwards with their plans. As someone who is at more risk than others because of my immune system, that feels pretty awful.

The big news at the moment, in the UK, is the story relating to Dominic Cummings who blatantly broke all the lockdown rules, and yet the Government are defending him. It honestly seems like they are pushing forwards their plan, and opening schools, to give the media something else to discuss. It feels so surreal to be living through this time – sometimes it feels normal and you plod along, and then other times you remember there is a global pandemic, we have all been locked down for months, thousands have died, the politicans are breaking their own rules and lying about it, they are sacking journalists for speaking the truth, and so much more. The levels of distrust and anger in the country feel at boiling point. There seems to be no good news at the moment. I am trying to not engage where possible, and only look for certain updates at set times- to keep informed without being overwhelmed.

For me personally, I need to decide if I can stay in my London house with my housemates, or if I need to move back to my parents. One of my housemates is going back to work full time as a teacher next week – so in a classroom with up to 15 children with no masks or gloves, no social distancing, and any other contact that comes with that eg other teachers. This also exposes her to any virus in any of the families of those children. Given that up until this point we are still rarely leaving the house and being extremely careful, this feels incredibly frustrating and scary. I could go home, isolate for 14 days, and then stay at my dads where he is full time working from home. It is tempting, but I also don’t want to be leaving, paying rent on a place I can’t live in etc- especially when money is so short! Also, I may well go back to work in July, in which case I would then have to move back here anyway and isolate again.

 

There are no easy answers. It is a case of trying to weigh up the different scenarios, and do what you think is best for you and those around you – how to stay safe and keep others safe. Having to make sacrifices to ensure that everyone stays safe and we beat this. The most goading thing is seeing people all around you not doing the same. Some people are meeting in big groups, having parties, meeting up, visiting friends, and then there are others who work for the NHS who have moved out their homes to protect their children, people dying without seeing their family because hospitals can’t let you in. How is that fair? The thought that someone I love may have to die alone in hospital because other people can’t resist having a BBQ or seeing their boyfriend for a few weeks is enough to galvanise anyone to action. It is sickening. But, it is happening.  My “sacrifices” may not be anything near that, but I will do my bit, and I will be able to leave this lockdown knowing I have done everything that was in my power to stop its spread.

These are tiring times….lots of bad news, sad news, mad news. But, life goes on. Sort of…

New beginnings? More like convoluted endings…


Hello!

Coming at you from a very sunny day, writing from my kitchen table trying to get some admin work done before I can enjoy the afternoon outside. I say enjoy..I will be sat alone on the floor outside reading a book because we don’t have garden furniture, and all my housemates are working…but you have to take what you can get! The lockdown has eased a little, meaning that we are allowed outside for longer and not just for exercise, so the last few days we have gone to the park to play frisbee which has been really nice. We have found that if we go later in the evening, about 7pm, it is much quieter so there is ample space, therefore it feels safe enough to be out and about without having to go near people.  There are however downsides to the easing, in that people are getting much more casual about everything. In the food shops people are breaking the one way system, walking too close, and it is really stressful trying to keep a safe distance and collect all the shopping that is needed. We are so far doing well for food, and spending time learning new meals and enjoying preparing and eating-  it is one of the only highlights of the day!

I am trying to keep to some kind of routine, trying to be productive (Where possible) in the morning, and then watching films, or knitting, or being relaxed in the afternoons. I have a list of things to get done, but still seem to struggle to find the motivation or time (I know, ironic) to get them done. It is hard to feel like I am not doing enough, and need to do more, and work out more, and make money, and make changes, and be productive and more…when in reality I am feeling a little lost and adrift.

In terms of health, thankfully – touch wood – I am doing okay. I thought the stress of this situation may trigger crohns, but so far it is going okay. I am feeling quite vulnerable with regards to this though, because I am at a higher risk of having complications if I do catch the virus compared to my housemates and others my own age. This is making me feel quite paranoid! I am also living with a primary school teacher, and it looks like she will be going back to work in about 10 days – which is absolutely insane to me. It seems like a massive risk to the teachers, children, and all their families who are living with them…and the return to education just seems to be to allow parents to go back to work, which I understand, but think the cost is going to be too high. On a selfish note it scares me a lot, I am not sure if I am going to be able to stay here or if I need to move back to my parents house to try and stay safe and away from the virus. My dad is working from home full time, and I could easily isolate in his house for 14 days to ensure I wasn’t bringing him back any germs from London, before then riding out the rest of lockdown etc with him. I could do this, and it is probably the safer option, but I am enjoying being in London and want to ensure that I feel my life is based here now, and make the most of it. Also, I am paying rent and bills, and don’t want that money to be wasted- especially now when money is about to be extra tight!

I do however feel lucky that I am on no medication. I have had several calls and reach outs from the Government with regards to shielding (intense social distancing even from people you live with and not going outside at all) for 12 weeks. I checked with my doctors and because I am no longer on any medication this doesn’t apply to me, which is such a relief! However…if this has happened 18 months or 2 years earlier, I would be on full lockdown, isolated in my room, for months. I have so much sympathy for those that are doing this, and so grateful that I am not. Trying to hold onto this as a positive.

Trying to remain optimistic, but it isn’t always easy.

 

H x

A voice note to my friend


This blog started with me writing down a text that I sent to my parents, and now I am going to share a voice note I just sent to my friends. Today, is a hard day.

 

Hey, I am having a bit of…a low day today.

I had a good morning, I worked on my emails and did some admin stuff, and then spoke to my Auntie for an hour which was really nice. I have just been talking to my Brother and have been helping him with his clothing company quite a lot recently, and he wants me to help with his other marketing company so just trying to work out payments and practically if it could work. I would have to invoice him to be paid, and then have to sort out actually creating these and…essentially becoming a freelancer and invoicing him for my services, and somehow do tax returns too. At the moment that is all done through my work, but I wouldn’t be able to then. My Mum has an accountant she uses, and she can do it all for me and would be easy enough I just send her information, but then I have to pay the accountant, and I am sure it wouldn’t be too much for just my simple work but also is that even worth it then, and getting so complex and stressful. I am feeling overwhelmed as thought it would just be an easy way to earn some extra money, but guess I just didn’t think it all through.

I need to look into that more I guess. I am just….feeling…like a bit of a failure. I know you are going to say that we are all on different paths and money isn’t everything but, I feel like I have a lot of people in my life that are being really proactive and impressive and I feel like I am doing a really bad job. Umm. Like running their own companies, and doing networking, and being inventive and building up these things, and I know we aren’t all comparable but, in some ways, we are. In a sense of having a project and making a difference. One of my friends is blogging, and has a website, and is so engaged and impressive and I just…don’t have any of that. I feel like I should be doing more, but I don’t know what to do.

I am just feeling stressed. I am trying really hard to stay positive and see this as an opportunity, like to take a step back and think about …if my normal jobs are going to be off the market for a while, is there anything else? What else makes me happy, makes me engaged and feel passionate about? Is there another path I would want to consider whilst I am sat here at these crossroads, and maybe have the chance to try it and do a bit of both.  But I just feel like I don’t have many skills…and that this should be a time when I am doing all these cool ideas and starting projects and try to make a portfolio of jobs and making money in different way and yet I’m not, and I don’t know how. I am not saying it is all about money, but to an extent it is…right now I don’t have enough to live here and cover my rent and bills…so I know you will say it isn’t all about money and not to judge myself against that, but right not at this point of time it kinda is. I think that thought is a luxury you can have when you are in a position of having the bases covered and not needing more (although maybe wanting it), but right now I actively need more money and more ways to generate income through different channels.

I am just feeling a bit overwhelmed, and like I am doing a bad job. I am not reaching my potential, and I am not being interesting and engaging. I am trying really hard to fill my time with meaningful things, and day to day I am feeling okay and happy but I guess I just took a step back today and has left me feeling overwhelmed.

In the mornings I have been helping my Brother, and I started this local scrub hub to help people who are sewing scrub bags for the NHS to support them. So I am coordinating our local hub, getting materials donated and getting them to the sewing volunteers, and then taking them to our local doctors nearby. This feels like a really good thing to be doing, and takes up my time and uses skills that I am good at, um, so that is nice. And I am, I have some creative projects I want to try and am enjoying that. Day to day I am happy enough. I just…It sounds dumb like a case of being jealous or being overshadowed by someone. And maybe I am, a bit..I don’t know. But I just feel like I am not doing enough, or being good enough, or making the most of this and I feel a bit like I am out in the middle of the sea and I can’t see land and I am not sure which direction to swim in. Huh, how dramatic.

Anyway, I just needed to vent it out. So, yeah.

 

H x

The good, the bad, and the reality


Sorry for the break in posts these last few days…there has been a lot for me to get my head around, and try to come to terms with!

I spent a lot of last week in a flurry of tears and stressful moments, trying to understand the redundancy process, my rights (of which there are precious few), and what situation I would be left in going forwards. I am trying tog et straight in my head my financial situation, what is a necessity, and what can be cut back or changed, to ensure that I can keep paying my rent and bills as required etc.  I have also had further information about my job, and the site wanting to keep my volunteers running, just not having me working there anymore- which to be honest, feels very dodgy. I rang citizens advice to see if there were grounds for unfair dismissal, but because I haven’t been there 2 years yet (I am basically at 1 year and 11 months), I don’t get the same rights, and therefore have no grounds to complain, which is unbelievably frustrating. I am trying not to let this consume me, but to be honest, it often does.

I have been getting in a routine of being productive in the morning, having a late lunch with my housemates, watching a film in the afternoon before they finish work and we can do a workout, then cook dinner together. It has been nice, and helps me to feel structured in my day. I have also invested in buying more crafting material, which is helping to give me projects to work on. I am also spending a lot of time helping my brother with his business – and am trying to work out if I can invoice him for some work and actually legitimately use it as a source of income, I am just not sure how that works with taxes etc! I am also running our local scrub hub group, which are a group of volunteers that I am organising to make scrub bags to give to local doctors and hospital surgeries, to support them in their scrub turnover and washing, and to minimise the chance of them spreading anything to their families. It is useful for me to feel …well, useful, and to have something to achieve each day (as much as possible!). I am also trying to differentiate my weekends and weekdays, which is mostly done through the amount of free time my housemates have!

 

In wider news, on Sunday (2 days ago) we sat and watched Boris’ announcement on the lockdown and the plans for easing it going forwards. It has been a really long time since the three of us all sat together, with the TV on (not Netflix!) and watched an announcement like that, it really does feel like being part of history. The announcement itself was worrying, confusing and not much use…I thought anyway. It feels like the upper classes are going to continue to work at home, drive to work and can just spend more of their leisure time in the countryside, whereas those who have to go to work now, many of whom live in the cities, will have to go back to work on public transport and be at increased risk. It also worries me that one of my housemates is a teacher and may be going back in just 2 or 3 weeks, because I feel so at risk, and concerned that this is not being dealt with appropriately.

It is a weird position now, I am excited to go back to normal, but also scared…it doesn’t feel like we have come to a suitably safe place to be making these changes, so I am also now scared to take advantage of these changes for fear of getting sick. It makes me crazy to see people doing street parties, and conga lines…it isn’t a game. It isn’t “go about your normal life but stay 2m apart”, it is “stay inside unless you absolutely have to go out, and if you do have to go out, then stay away from each other”. Some people are so stupid, and it is scary the impact they can have on others. Aside from this, people now seem to think we have somehow beaten the virus, that because lockdown may change it is better…it isn’t …there is just room for us now in the intensive care units. That still sounds like a pretty awful situation to me.

 

Fingers crossed for a brighter future.

H x

I got made redundant.


I am not even really sure where to begin with this post, or how I want to process everything that is in my head right now. I guess, start with the good things, which are that I am safe and healthy, and so are my family and friends. I have very sadly been made redundant from one of my jobs, so I am lucky in that I have another 3 day per week income to rely on for now…although unlucky because it will only barely cover my rent, and give me not enough to pay for my bills, food, travel and general life. I basically want to get on “paper” that I  know I am lucky, I have options and family who can help me, and I have my health. But, it. is. shit.

I loved that job, I was good at that job, and I was making a difference. I am feeling heartbroken to not be able to go back there, to finish my projects, to see the people I worked with and for, to carry on my programme and see it flourish. It hurts, and is sad and shit.  I will miss my volunteers, miss being there, miss helping them come back out of this shit time.

I don’t know what I will do for money. I have family that can help, and I have options, but none of them seem great. The reality of me getting another museum job in this climate is basically non-existant, at least not for many many months. That means I either move home, because I can’t afford not to, let my parents help me financially where they can, take any random job I can find and deal with the psychological blow of moving away from what I have been working for for all these years, or find another way to make up my income in the meantime. A small part of me is excited (although that feels very weird to say) – maybe this is the time for me to find a more flexible income, one that doesn’t involve being 9-5 in an office every day. Maybe I can find a new skill, a way to make money online, some kind of niche to exploit that would give me more freedom in my normal working life…which in turn I think would make me  happier, not being in the office every day. Maybe this has potential. But, realistically, I don’t know what this would be or how this would happen, and seems a real pipe dream. Maybe I take this as a sign, break off and go travel for a period (when I can!), see the world and take some time to explore. That is incredibly tempting. But am I then throwing away what is left of my career? We are about to have to pay 6 months of rent upfront. Should I? Should I eat into my savings? Should I risk it? What do I do? If anyone has answers, please, enlighten me.

Again, I am lucky, and I know that. And I don’t mean to come across as ungrateful, and I feel selfish complaining sometimes. But also, not everything is a competition. Just because somebody may have it worse, it doesn’t mean that my situation feels any different for me, and that is something I am trying to remember.

The redundancy process itself has been handled incredibly poorly by my company, and I am getting increasingly frustrated and annoyed. I don’t feel valued, I don’t feel like they are taking it seriously, or caring about our wellbeing. They are withholding information, not giving us details, and not being prompt. I am really struggling with how poorly it is being handled, and it is just such a big important thing, and should have been planned and executed better.

Hopefully I can have more cohesive thoughts for you in a few days.

H x

A sad day, and a dose of reality


I am lucky enough to be healthy, in a safe and secure home during this crisis. I am faced with boredom, with a lack of purpose, with feeling worthless and worrying about those I love; but, things could be worse. Yesterday was a day of reality checks and realism…sometimes confined to the house it is easier to try and pretend that something else is happening, that I am just enjoying time off work or having lazy holiday days – the issue is, that illusion never lasts long!

One of my absolute best friends, who lives in the states, just lost her job this week. She is incredibly stressed about not having work, the impact on her career, and also practically losing her health insurance in the middle of a global pandemic. It is really hard to be on the other side of the world, and not be able to help her. She has just come down with a flu type symptom, and has had to go get checked to see if she has the virus or not. It hurts my heart to think of her ill, stressed and alone, and I wish more than anything I could bring her here and look after her! We are doing our best to support and love her, but it is a hard and stressful time for everyone, and sometimes being a support to someone can be really difficult. We fell our yesterday over some wording in a text, and I think that she was being unfair to me- lashing out and taking out some of her frustration on me…which is fine, I get that she needs an outlet, but it is a really hard thing to take sometimes. We talked it through, both apologised and moved on – and I feel better for having said what I did, but it just heightens the fact that everyone at the moment is walking on eggshells, even those who seem to be in good situations can be struggling with the pressure underneath it all.

I also found out yesterday that someone I know from work died early in the morning, and it came as a bit of a shock. One of the places I work has several elderly residents living there as part of its programme, and one who I liked, and was very young and vibrant just passed away. They say currently it was not due to COVID-19, and he was in hospital for other matters, but since we are furloughed and have limited information it is really hard to hear things as they happen, and we ended up actually finding out through someone posting on Instagram, which was shit. This is the third person, in the past 6 weeks, who has died through this organisation, and although we knew that many people were vulnerable going into this crisis, it is still tricky to take. Aside from this, on a more selfish note, I am also having growing concerns about my job stability, and if I am going to also face redundancies due to working in heritage during a time when heritage sites may not open for who knows how long, plus the fact we never have spare money at the best of times! I am trying not to worry until there is something more concrete to be concerned about, but, it is tricky.

These are scary times, full of worry and concern and stress. I am trying to also focus on the good. The time I can take for myself to relax, start new art projects and take a step back. To appreciate the good in communities that emerges, and so much more. It is important to focus on these too – some incredible things are happening, and I hope to be able to support some of them. Sometimes though, it feels more than a little overwhelming. We are due to hear updates on the next stage of lockdown this week, so, we shall see…

 

H x

Further updates


Hi All,

So just a quick update on our situation. My housemate is now no longer sick, and has completed her isolation period, so she is able to go out to food shops etc as before. Unfortauntely, my other housemate and I have a few days left of our 2 week isolation, but thus far neither of us feel fine. Thus far we have been managing fine in terms of food, and although we can normally not get everything we want, there is plenty for us to eat and we are just changing our meal plans! As I am officially full time furloughed I am spending more time cooking, planning meals etc- and we are actually probably eating better than before because we are putting the effort into our food, as it is one of the only things to look forwards to, and we have plenty of time! So far this week we have had chicken wrapped with bacon with homemade sweet potato fries and veg, homemade fresh carbonara pasta and our first attempt at a chicken and leek paella- which turned out great!

I am still officially furloughed, and the scheme has now been extended to run until the end of June, although at present both my museums have only applied until the end of May, although I am sure that this will change. It is hard work…I feel incredibly privilaged to be living somewhere safe and secure, to be healthy, to have an income etc- but it is hard to have felt like I have lost my purpose. I didn’t realise how important it was for me to be working, and how much of my life felt centered around that, and how necessary it is for me to feel like I am making a contribution. It is hard sometimes to keep up a feeling of self worth, when you are contributing nothing. However, I know I am lucky and am trying to focus on this, to keep my spirits up. This week has also been tricky, one of my best friends is being made redundant due to the crisis, and she lives abroad so it feels really difficult to not be able to do more to support her! I am hoping to see her in July, we have our next visit trip planned, but who knows if that is going to be possible given the current climate and everything that is happening. The hardships of this time are very real, very present, and very scary.

 

H x

We are isolating!


Sorry for the lack of posts these last few days, I have been quite busy – which is weird given that I literally have nothing to do! One of my housemates has had a very bad cough, so she is now isolating in her room to try and prevent us from catching the virus, if that is what she has. She has been isolating for a few days now, and I am making all her meals, doing her laundry etc so that we can keep her isolated in her room and minimise the spread of any germs. I think she is starting to feel better now, which is nice; and so far neither me or my other housemate have any symptoms, so am keeping my fingers crossed it stays that way!

The lockdown has been extended another 3 weeks, and the furlough scheme has now been extended until the end of June – so it will be interesting to see if the museums push for that to happen, which I assume they will. I am trying to find a balance in my time – a mix of being productive and therefore feeling useful, vs enjoying taking the time to sit and read in the sun and just take life at a slightly slower pace. Unfortauntely, next week it is due to rain all week, which I think will lead to a lot more frustration, and feeling quite cooped up! I am enjoying being in London and with my housemates, but really missing the big open spaces of being at home, and the option to take the dog out for a walk. London is feeling a bit claustrophobic for me; and really hammers home the fact that although I am enjoying living here for this portion of my life, I definitely don’t want to put roots down in the city, it is not the kind of lifestyle I want to live!

I don’t think much has changed in a wider societal sense…as of yet. There are rumours that shops and some businesses will start to reopen soon, but no information about social distancing. We also have heard that potentially the elderly will be asked to isolate for up to a year, which seems to me to be psychologically something very hard to bear…

 

I am spending time ensuring I put effort into my relationships with family and friends, and trying to keep talking to them and reaching out to my network. It is nice for me, to remind myself I have people outside these walls to engage with, and I hope does the same for them.

 

I can’t wait to be able to sit in the garden with my dog and a few friends, and enjoy a BBQ. Bring on the good times please.

 

X

Being put on furlough…again…


Today has been a weird day. All was normal at work (or as much as it can be in this current climate!) and then at about 3.30pm this afternoon we got an email from our head of department saying that the large majority of the museum was being put on furlough as of 4pm tomorrow. Again, such a short time frame, there is no time to adjust!

To be honest, I am gutted, as much as I was the first time. Turns out, second time is NOT the charm! I feel like we have so much work still to do, and were using this time incredibly productively, and had a lot to get through – so to not be able to do it is so frustrating. Not only will we not be producing anything useful during this time, but when we get back in June we are going to be really behind. We also have major events planned through this period and in June which are going to have to be rescheduled, but we can’t properly reschedule them because we only have one working day tomorrow to get all the work completed before our accounts get locked out. It is, genuinely, madness.

Just to clarify – I am incredibly lucky to be receiving full pay from both my jobs, and to have my jobs secure. I know that, and it is not something I am taking for granted. However, this doesn’t mean that for me in my life it isn’t a big change, and something that I am sad about and needs adjusting to. I am going to give myself tomorrow to power through the work, the weekend to wallow, and then from Monday I need to be back on it with the positive mindset. I am going to look for local volunteering roles I can help with, find new hobbies to learn, and try to keep an element of structure to my day. I worry that, without contributing anything, I am going to have issues with my self esteem – it feels pretty shit that nobody needs you to do anything, and you can spend all day everyday alone in a room. I need to take a step back, focus, and redirect my energies into something constructive. Part of that may well be taking more time for myself, to sleep and read and just enjoy doing nothing – which is something I rarely do!

 

In wider news, the lockdown has officially been extended for another 3 weeks as of about 10 minutes ago, when it was announced in the news. I don’t think it was shocking for anyone, and was exactly what was expected, but on top of the furlough news feels like a bit of a blow, and like a cage coming down around me. Thus far, being in lockdown has been fine for me, again very lucky I know, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it is enjoyable to not be able to see family or friends, or to leave the house. This is the longest I have ever not seen my little brother and sister in their whole lives, and it is really shit. I miss them, I miss my friends, I miss being able to go for a nice dinner out, or being able to walk to the park, I miss so much. But, I hope it will stop people taking these things for granted in the future, I know I won’t .

 

H x