I’m really struggling. Its, unfair.


I cant remember when I last posted, or what it was about – and so I apologise for any long gaps/ random jumps between posts.

This weekend my boyfriend got back from his 3 week trip around America, and it was soo lovely to see him and spend the weekend with him. I took Thursday and Friday off from work (did I mention I got a new job?!) and it was also his birthday on Thursday, and had the nicest time! We stayed the rest of the weekend at his house, and was so nice to see his family again too. Then on Monday another day off work for my graduation, which was quite stressful! But, ultimately, fun 🙂 and a proud moment indeed!  I was really nervous so couldn’t eat my lunch before (although managed to fore down a few bits of garlic bread 😉 ) but my throat was feeling sore, but put it down to nerves!

Anyway I woke up again today, ready for work. And felt so ill. A sore throat, hurting to swallow, a headache, a really “full” head (no other way to describe it) and being all clammy after having the sweats all night. I called NHS 111 and they advised not going to work and heading to the doctors ASAP, which is what I did.  He said my tonsils did have a coating, and were definitely not healthy even if they weren’t super inflamed and that he was concerned about my other symptoms. He took me through for an immediate emergency blood test, and should get the results back for Friday. I hope that they come back clear, but at the same time if they don’t then maybe they can fix the issues im feeling – the intense fatigue, the headaches etc.

On a side note, I was so angry with the hospital the other day. After doing another humira injection on sunday, I was concerned that after 3 months I haven’t heard anything from them, so I called them en route to my graduation. They said that it was my fault for missing several appointments – despite the fact they continually send the letters to my old university address, even though I have told them that I have moved back home twice! Anyway, it means I have had no blood tests or follow ups, and it means that Im not sure if I have any internal symptoms from the medication that I may not even know about.

I have a new job, a new job which I already have taken holiday from and am now taking sick days for an unknown amount of time. A job I’m not sure is my forever job. Decisions to make. Stresses to cope with.

It all feels a bit  much right now.

H x

One thought on “I’m really struggling. Its, unfair.

  1. I am working with some people who have been struggling with Crohns as well and we are starting a community together to get resources and a place to swap what has worked and hasnt worked. Come check it out! its wordpress.glorifiedguts.com and we have a facebook page called healthy gut

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