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Just an add-on to yesterdays post,  this is my right arm yesterday with the cannula in – the first in my left was unsuccessful and is still painful today :/

I sent this as a snapchat to a few of my friends who wanted updates on how yesterday went and I was too shaky, nervous or sedated to type properly – so a quick snap was perfect!

Something that made me sad, but also made me laugh ; was that so many of my friends were grossed out ir shocked by how medical it looks- in a hospital gown and bed with needles taped into your arm. Yes jt isn’t the nicest sight, and Im not exactly the biggest fan of it- but I am so used to it now, so used to hospitals and the procedures and the rest that it seems not so bad to me. It saddens me that my life is just that little bit different to all my friends in that this scene is a part of my life and one that is still so alien to them.  This “casual-ness” (sorry no idea of a better word ahha)  on my part towards the procedures backfired a little bit yesterday when I acted fine but then reality hit me about two hours before the colonoscopy and I felt so sick and shaky- putting on a brave face is fine but I need to remember to allow myself a panic and time to prepare!

H x

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