Am I In the Wizrd of Oz?


The road I am on now isnt quite as exciting as the yellow brick road that dorothy got to follow, but I feel as if I am on my own road to discovery along the way to getting better. Just like dorothy along the way I have met different people and challenges, and each have changed me in some way and helped me towards my end goal of good health!

 

I met with my surgeon yesterday for a post-operative catch up, and he was very pleased with my progress. He says that I can eat as normal, and I had a blood test to check all my levels now, especially since i started back on Azathriaprine a week or so ago.I now dont have to see him again, I just will meet back with my consultant at the end of January when I am aiming to return to university. He explained that the main long term potential impact of the surgery is that the area removed in the operation is the one responsible in the body for the absorption of B12, which can cause anemia and illness if you do not have enough in your body. I have already been told I was slightly anemic, but that due to larger issues I may as well ignore it as it has little effect on me, so this is something else to watch. Apparently our bodies have a reserve, so I will not see in blood tests for a few months if this will have an impact on me, and if so I can either take supplement tablets or have injections every few months to give my body enough to be healthy. The surgeon also explained to me, in great detail and very patiently, that at the moment I have no symptons and there is really very little that i can do to prevent crohns coming back, I have to just cross my fingers, touch wood, wish on a star, and everything else under the sun and wait…and hope. Apparently there is little diet-related control that will help, and he truly believes stress has little impact. He basically said go, live your life as much as you can and we will deal with it if and when it reoccurs. He was very honest, saying because of how young I am there is a good chance that it will re-occur in my lifetime.

 

It is weird, in some ways I am glad that there is very little I can do to prevent Crohns returning ( I am expecting some flare ups, but I hope it will never become so long term again). THe biggest thing is to not smoke, which is fine –  I never have done and never intend to. It is weird, on one hand I can go, live my life and “ignore it” so far as possible and just wait, maybe I will be lucky maybe I wont, I ont have to drastically change my lifestyle or not eat certain things..but on the other I wish in a way they said “if you never eat steak again you will have a much better chance of not having it strike” at least then i feel as though I have a bit more control. It is like, in my head, how my friend views taking the Pill – it is her reponsibility and her control, she knows she takes the tablet at the correct time every day she knows what to do if she misses one, she gets more everytime she runs low and understands the risks and can control her birth control that way – I know that sounds like a weird comparison to make, but I wish I had that element of control over myself and my life and my health, but I have to accept that I just dont, and I cant. Scary, huh?

On a more positive note I am feeling much more human and better, and am able to eat more and walk about more. My biggest issue is just being drained of any energy very quickly, but I am learning to accept that and embrace it nap and relax, soon enough I am determined to be back on top and better.

I am afraid this post has little direction, apologies. I think it is important to air your thoughts, and right now mine are twirling round in endless circles, especially regarding the lack of control I feel in my life, its not an easy thing to swallow. Aside from that I am marching determinedly down my personal yellow brick road, with my friends and family around me. Yes, some days I get sidetracked and sit on the virtual kerb for a cry and a bit of a tantrum at the unfairness of it all, but soon enough I will be back on track and closer to my goal. 

 

H x

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